August 10, 2006

Dear Dad,

One hundred nineteen days ago we said goodbye. That sounds like a lot of time, but it still feels like yesterday. It's hard still, the good memories haven't blocked out the last remaining days yet. Everyone is dealing with your departure in different ways, and as you always said-- life goes on. I'll say for my part that there hasn't been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought of you at least one time if not more during the day. Your name is a recurrent one in conversations or reminiscences with Sophia and me. Certain songs I hear or things I'll think of will make me chuckle to think of how you'd have reacted to them. The recent weather is one of those events. I can hear you now harping on the 100*+ weather Philadelphia just experienced, you loved talking about the "humidity"..... so you're in a better place in that regard.

The Phils are still floundering in mediocrity. They just traded away the "franchise" players yet somehow they still continue to illicit hope amongst the faithful by putting together a few sweeps here and there....this too would be driving you crazy. You were heavy on my mind Sunday. I've never started an Eagles season that I could remember that we weren't either watching the game together or in contact over the phone. I miss that alot. The 1st team looked crisp, the rest as you always said, wasn't worth watching. Something that you would have loved is about to happen. You actually talked quite often about it the last year or so ago. The Vince Papale movie opens this month. Man you would have loved to have seen that, I remember how you loved him so.

What else? Sophia and I spent a week at your beloved shore in New Jersey. I passed the old Buck Tavern and it made me think of you and how we'd stop there on our way to the Springfield Inn for a hot roast beef. You were heavy on my mind that week, we had such great times at the beach eh? It left me with regret that i hadn't done this with you and her when I could've of. Sophia and I are going to Mass later today to say a few prayers for you; she speaks often of you and how she misses your phone calls and questions. She still has that art kit you gave her, and she is constantly drawing me loving doodles. She still talks about the day we went to the Springfield Ice Skating Rink so you could see her skate. And those skates you bought her at Bill Battey's? They're too small now, but she isn't letting them go. I tried to have her maybe give them to a less fortunate kid who might need some skates, she wasn't having any of it. The sentimental value she's placed on them far out weigh any altrustic ones I might try to suggest.

The pain of my loss is tempered by the fact that you're with your long lost family and so many friends. I imagine all the idols of your life--the sports figures and of course Frank and Johnny have you really feeling like you're in heaven. Sophia incredibly will be starting 3rd grade in one week. I see in my own experience the speed at which life and all its wondrous blessings seem to almost gain speed as they pass before me. This reminds me as I recall our many wonderful times how fast they really did pass.........That's it from here in Florida. I miss your voice too and am left remembering this time last year when I came up to check on you after you got out of Harlee Manor. I took you shopping at Strawbridges, got you some new duds. Remember? We had some laughs over your skinny ass that day! Then we had a big old prime rib at Outback that night. That was to be a bitter sweet birthday for sure. No more bittersweet than this one though. Happy Birthday Dad. I love you and I'm missing you.

Love your son, Tim