Reeling in the Years.......

A year ago I was 40,000 feet in the air closing in on London for a long overdue visit with some dear friends. Four years ago I was shattered by the loss of my father after a protracted illness and the toll it took on all who cared for him right up to the end. Five years ago I finally emerged from the hell that was divorce after the rigorous toll it took on my health, heart and daughter.

March 13 holds significance for sure. And even though it still has me looking in my rear view mirror at those long cold days spent at my father's bedside as all the familiar traces of his being slowly ebbed away before my eyes in hospice, things are for the most part--ok. And despite the pain, the tears, and the sadness life indeed has gone on, for the better. I have a wonderful woman in my life, my daughter is flourishing before my eyes, and though I miss him terribly; thoughts of my father evoke more smiles than tears now.

Of even greater significance is the fact that my daughter will have a sister in July and I a second daughter. Funny how much difference a year makes in our lives, I certainly would've never imagined the blessing of another child this time last year. And though I haven't posted on here much lately, most likely this is a good sign, as my life has become busier, and in turn it has become whole again after losing so much-- in such a short span.

Spring awaits just around the corner both figuratively and literally in my life today. I can say for sure that I still miss my pop a lot, but I know now better than I did then that the course of life is generally 85-90% joy, happiness, and love. The other 10-15% is heartache, pain, loss, and tears. If we're lucky in this life we get to space that 10-15% of pain over the span of our lives so as to not feel the awesome totality of life's losses. I know now how lucky I've been. And after a particularly nasty little spell, I too am back in the happiness, joy, and love.

My daughter continues to be the eternal spring of my life's joy. Sprinkle in a special someone and the pending birth of our daughter and you have the ingredients for another good run on happiness. So for all those who ask me when/where has PinF gone, or will I post again soon, trust me--it isn't because I haven't the stories to tell--on the contrary. I'm living the stories, so much in fact that finding the time to write them is the challenge now................