Destinies, Dads and Daughters

EDITORS NOTE: I received an email complaining-- well not really complaining, more like commenting - that I have yet to once mention the weather here in Florida as I said I would in my profile. Well let me see.....hold on, straining to look out the window....OK Weather: Partly cloudy, VERY hot, and winds are ominously gaining strength, a harbinger of what is to come to our neighbors to the west....God help those in the path of Dennis...it looks BIG.


So anyway I'm watching the news, just as shocked as anyone else of course, and it occurs to me how in a "blink of an eye" life can be snatched, not to unlike the recent shark attacks here in my sunny state. Who could have EVER imagined three years ago -- a plane, some buildings, and thousands of fathers, mothers, sons and daughters not coming home? So I'm thinking the same thing...who would ever imagine as you head off on your way to work that the double decker bus you so innocently believe will deliver you to your destination will become a sardine can of deadly shards, mayhem and death? In an instant. Boom. Which brings me to my point.

So often we're told "never go to bed mad", "always tell the ones you love what you want to say while you can"...."say you're sorry even if you aren't"....how true is this? I'm thinking of this because as I write this now my Father lies in a hospital bed, his future quite uncertain. It becomes so apparent when you see your own parent's frailities what Bob Marley meant when he said "...once a man and twice a child...", as we are all destined by our own human weaknesses to eventually revert back to our childlike existance as we age. Thank God, I feel as though I've always taken the time to tell my father what I felt, though the physical separation during this period is straining. Do I go to Philly only if his time seems near? That seems kind of harsh but it is a reality, as I have already planned for three weeks of vacation in August to spend time with him and others. My brothers have the burden of having to live in this reality whereas I only have my imagined fears, which is worse I'm not sure.

The contrast of my father's approaching last days is contrasted by his granddaughter, my daughter- Sophia's birthday this Saturday. I am faced with dread, worry, and fear for my father all the while knowing I must also face the joy, excitement and blessing of my own child as she excitedly awaits her 7th birthday party. A fact that reminds me of my own time on this earth. Parenting is such an equal lesson in both your parents' past, as it is in your own future. Keeping this in mind I try to not to take the "little moments" for granted with my own daughter's life. Knowing full well that the little moments that we as adults assign little consequence to are usually the most etched in our childhood memories. I like so many friends, family and indeed all people will very soon face my father's mortality, it's disconcerting and sad and made even more worrisome by the fact that it could happen before I could be physically there. Just as so many of those poor people in London now know; life rarely ends when we expect it, nor are any of us granted the time we'd like, to say the things we wanted.

Perhaps if any good at all comes of these recent events, it would be that we all take the time to reflect how important and loved our family and friends are in our lives. And then maybe we will all endeavour not to put off telling them so, or staying mad at someone for what I'm sure will seem ridiculous reasons when the time is too late. I know myself that Sophia and I always tell each other how much we love each other every day, and if I lose my temper I ALWAYS tell her why, and that I'm sorry. Always. She may come to realize many things she did not know about her father over the course of her life, knowing how much I loved her will not be one of them. These are the lessons of our lives, the ones we're so sure we already knew when our parents were trying to teach them to us.

As of right now my thoughts are with my father, so I don't have much in the way of anecdotal funny thoughts...that'll come though. Regardless what happens, I've had a lot of fun with my Dad, and a lot of great memories, God willing he'll pull through and we'll have a few more when I get to Philly in August. Still I am comforted in knowing that he knows how I feel, and though he wasn't much for sharing his feelings, I know how he felt too. So in this department I'm good. I guess no one is ever ready to say goodbye to anyone they've known all their lives, whether you get the chance -- or in the case of those poor souls in London yesterday - you don't.