I received an interesting email from a life-long friend the other day. It had all the typical news to report; the children, job, and the stresses of the everyday grind. My friend is unique in the fact that she lost one of her parents at a young age, and now as she approaches that age is probably prone to seeing that loss in a much more real way -- can’t blame her there.
She went on to mention how she had been drawn to a life coach after reading some articles describing how to take control of your life and live a life of purpose. Quite an interesting concept when you really consider it, because who wants to do anything in life that is devoid of purpose. Yet in many ways we all find ourselves questioning our motives, both personally and professionally. Either the job is unfulfilling, or the marriage has lost its luster, or even worse--maybe both.
So often it feels as though the “purpose” in our lives has been lost, and with it, so have all the dreams, passion, and ideas we may have once aspired to. We’re all victims of this. How can we not be? Bills have to be paid, decisions need to be made, and responsibilities have to be met. That’s the irony, since we often go through life envying another person’s life, job, or outlook. In reality, if we could get inside the thoughts of each other, we’d find that we often share the same doubts, insecurities, and fears.
My friend went on to mention that she feels so overwhelmed with work, and that she wonders if she is dividing her time and dedications in their proper proportions and more importantly assigning her priorities the correct attention. Think about that for a minute.
Who doesn’t think about what they should do, and what they would do, if only they could make their decisions based on what they want to do, instead of what they have to do? The email ended with my friend coming to the realization that what were really important to her were her children growing up and the amount of time she gets to spend with them. Yes, the career and the opportunity it affords to give her children a certain lifestyle were important too, but she seemed to be making the point that it wasn’t so important as to be choosing long hours and career advancement over the quality and quantity of time with her children.
It was towards the very end of the email that her whole epiphany was brought into better focus. She mentioned that one of the exercises she was asked to consider under this theory of coaching was quite daunting, a question that evoked as much fascination as fear. It forces you to really consider changes that you would make in an instant if you knew your time was suddenly finite.
If you were to be told today that you will have one year to live, how would you spend this last year? You would not be allowed to use or borrow more money that you have today. Where would you start, and what prevents you from enacting any of these changes today?
What would you do?
10 comments:
PinF,
Inspirational! Love that stuff.
Thanks
Ted
A life coach, kind of a funny concept to me, but then again, there are a lot of things people do that I don't understand.
Now if I had a year to live, I doubt I'd change a thing.
Crap you wouldn't. Spoken like one who hasn't tasted that fruit.
I suspect that little old KLR would be packed for the final ride out of this life, and MofC would be posting from all points other than Lincoln St.
If you'd not change a thing, then you're not living.
If you won the lottery you wouldn't change anything either, right?
hi pinf. your friend is so right we all get so caught up in what we want that we forget what we really need. thanks for this, i try everyday to live in the moment and with purpose. we forget our blessings when we live worrying about what we haven't got, instead of knowing we do have and what is important. nice post.
where's those photos you promised?
stac
so interesting that as i sat out on my deck earlier after a heavy downpour and watched the sky exhibit all of the colorful and dynamic aftermaths of a late afternoon storm, i was pondering this exact subject (your blog - a perfect "take," minus some pithy quotes, of a sifford gem!) - but then, i often do.....i reiterated to myself that i suffer horribly from debilitating wanderlust, that i thrive on Independence, that i am always striving for, or dreaming about, another re-invention of myself.....it is probably a curse that i sit and watch boats go by, always wanting to be on one - even work barges, tugs, old shrimp trawlers - anything to take me out to sea for long periods of time with the anticipation of another sunrise/sunset in another port
if i had one year, i would want to do just that, but you will ask why i don't do it now....here's the glitch - i have enough money to do the tramp steamer thing for a couple of years, flying to ireland to see my daughter as often as was reasonable, but at the end, most likely i would still be alive but with no cash
how does that work??? in reality, how do people follow their dream/passion? give up working, spend all your money and then "take the pill" and finish life with a smile on your face? abandon family (friends will always be friends and there are more to be made) when there are only a couple of them left and my dad is getting older by the day? i wrestle( have always wrestled) with this for years...i was really very content and living the good life for a long time after i moved to palm beach, but i knew that it was not my last stop- (i have this "thing" about not wanting to know where i'll be living when i die) - i worked very hard on a plan to move to mexico (or roatan, or panama), on a plan to sail around the world as a chef, and a few other fantasies - i never followed all the way through on any of them, tho i have monstrously thick files on all of it (i think half of the fun is the research and the fantasizing)......thankfully i have had the privilege of muuuuch travel in my lifetime, so at least i am not bitter or self-pitying.......however, sitting out there this early evening, i was ready to start figuring out how i could make my oceans adventure a reality.........i have only been here for a few months, and the itch has materialized again!!!!!
stay tuned!!! :)
Ed's note:
So often an "anonymous" comment is either a cowardly swipe or mean comment. As such they're often discouraged and/or dismissed. This comment would be the exception. Wonderful in the images it evokes, as well as honest in the common thoughts it evokes---thoughts that are representative of us all.
Without doubt---in my 29 months, and 165 posts, that is the best post I've had posted to PinF.
Incrediblye candid and illustrative. As I said---we're all connected much more by our similarities than we are separated by our differences.
Who hasn't dreamed of living their muse and just pissin' off to follow our dream....thanks anonymous.
I'm sorry you don't agree with me PinF, but I stick to what I said the first time.
Fair enough chuck, you island.
Nothing to do with being an island.
If you get what you want, sooner or later, it will turn out you will just want something else.
So change that one thing that is all of sudden going make you life the happy dream, or give it meaning or what ever it is you were hoping to get, and given enough time, it will turn out it wasn't enough and you'll just want to change "one more thing."
So knowing that, what is the point of changing anything?
Keep searching for the elusive elixer, let me know if you find it.
5 mos Greece to re-connect with my relatives, then 5 mos in Germany and Denmark to do the same with aks family, then spend my last 2 months in Sedona watching the red rocks....then I'm out.
oh - I'd also be reading my hiney off
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