Had any soul food lately? PinF has and along with Sophia, we're regulars every Sunday. The usual routine is to awake at 7 or 7:30, have some Life cereal, then we both slowly dress, plug the dual headphone jacks into the I-pod and cycle off for 9 AM mass at St.Paul of the Cross. Sophia and I have been doing this for the past three years, as I kind of phased religion into her life just as her parent's marriage was ending and as her maturity would allow an uninterupted hour of reflection. Her familiarity with church has also spawned other endeavors she loves, the Christmas Eve pageant being one in particular. Sophia loves this power hour of soul food, funny enough after a decade or more of estrangement from convential religious gatherings, so does PinF. I used to think you could keep your spirituality within, and worship in the church of your mind; you probably can but the act of commiting to such an endeavor of publicly professing your faith provides far greater rewards in the end.
PinF is speaking more of "faith" than "religion" when he attends church. Because for all I do get from the formal gatherings of traditional religion there is still much more I don't get, and indeed still take umbrage with. The biggest difference is as I've aged---or I'll say "matured" is I am less inclined to have "it" all explained and for it "all" to make sense. If that makes any sense. I can accept the non-sensical, choosing instead to draw out of my soul food that which I need for my sustenance and nourishment. Sophia too, as she is quite taken to what she loves most--the singing, so in this she has taken what she loves, and kind of sails through the "boring" parts.
Our weekly heapings of soul food have taken on a greater degree of nourishment as of late as Sophia has been preparing to make her First Holy Communion. PinF couldn't be any prouder. Every Sunday immediately following mass I drop miss Sophie over at the church school for her pre-Communion class for the next hour and a half. PinF then disappears to Starbucks for his dose of a more earthly sustenance, a grande caramel machiatto and the Sunday New York Times. That which I once found strangely forced and unnatural has come to Sophie much more naturally. Blame it on a different teaching approach maybe, that and the fact that Sophie really does dig God. Whatever the reason I am grateful as she shows an emotional maturity and understanding beyond her years sometimes, for this I give thanks.
This Saturday PinF will witness yet another mile marker of Sophia's development as she steps up to make her first reconcilliation, affectionately known to my generation as "confession". Of course this is mainly a Catholic thing, so for many the true meaning of making your first confession is either lost or just plain unknown. For PinF it was done by remembering the Our Father and a bit of scripted words beseeching forgiveness to a priest behind a veil in a dimly lit box. PinF is so happy to see those days, like so many of the dinosaurs of the Catholic faith- have changed, so Sophia will face the Father herself and profess her "sins", then she'll recite either a Hail Mary or and Our Father with the priest. Of course one thing hasn't changed since I did this and that is the fact that Sophia says she has no sins to profess. Funny, neither did I. So I told her "examples" of "sins", now it appears she's "going in" with papi's suggestions--no matter "God understands" I tell her.
The whole notion of forgiveness is kind of a strange to a child, as they really hold no long term anger or grudges and kind and move from one happy experience to the next. PinF has had to learn how to forgive many things in his life over the past few years, something I still work at daily. In trying to explain the whole notion of sin and reconcilliation I've explained that God's forgiveness of anything she does is like mine; there is nothing she can do or say that I cannot forgive her for. This allows her to grasp the idea a bit better, her fear seems to have disapated a bit, though I'm sure when the moment comes this Saturday morning we can expect a few last minute jitters. She'll be fine though, as usual I think I'm more nervous?
She is right though, she really hasn't any "sins" in the conventional sense, God knows she's never been disrespectful; being any only child she's never taken to using violence against playmates. But that isn't the point--she needs to understand that this is preparation for her "big day" in May. Strangely enough I've studied just as hard for this day, as parents now have to attend four classes prior to the child receiving these sacraments--something I do willingly. For I know it would be impossible for Sophia to find God and her faith without me attending church and leading by example, so I willingly and proudly walk the walk with her. I once read that when raising children you should be more concerned with what you do in front of them rather than what you say in front of them, as so much of what we learn in life is by example and not word. So Saturday PinF will be receiving an extra serving of Soul Food, and why not? It tastes great and has no calories. Blessings to all.
3 comments:
i remember as a young child attending bible camp or sunday school, but always thinking of the deeper things. like eternity, the beginnings of God. i always knew, as you told Sophie, that no matter what people may teach, God understood me.
Upon reflection, now that my children are in their 20s (I, however, am 39), it is apparent that they did benefit from their religious education/"training". But, I think they benefited even more from the sense of community and belonging they felt, as well as structure and boundaries, which helps them feel safe. They learn to "live in God", PinF.
jah
Somebody's digging their JAHMIX'06, especially Van the Man.
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