The Journey

373 Days, 12,749 visitors , and 91 posts later PinF chugs on. A journey or sorts; destination unknown. What began as a modest little space to arrange my daily observations and to keep those from whom I am seperated informed, has become somewhat of a personal juggernaut. Part therapy, part soapbox, PinF has survived a year's worth of triumphs, upsets, losses and awakenings. The fact that a year anniversary even passed is further proof of how much a part of my life these postings have become...almost second nature. Most likely I wouldn't have even given this fact much thought except for the fact that I remembered last year at this time Sophia's beloved Bo Bice lost AI4, and that I had commented on this fact.

So much has occurred in 373 days in the life of PinF. Readjusting to life alone, defining my own routines, continuing Sophia's, and coming to terms with the constant change that time deals to all of us. Most importantly, and equally painful-- I miss my dad. I have good days and bad; still I think of him everyday and wonder if I always will or is it just the fact that his passing is still fresh in my mind. The inevitability of knowing you're not going to see someone ever again on this earth slowly creeps in when all the tears have dried. The realization that you've laughed your last laugh together, BS'd on the phone, and have shared your last meal together all come to the forefront of your consciousness. The longer I myself am a parent the more I come to realize the lessons I need to impart, the things I need to do, and the times that really matter with my own child. Because for all the "big" moments of my life, I would ask for a few of the smaller ones back if I could. As if I feel a need to savor the small details a bit more and drink in the nuances of the moment a bit more reflectively.

Something I've noticed as a father is just how much of your own childhood is remembered through your own children. So often I'll recall a moment, a feeling, or a specific time with my own dad through time spent with my daughter Sophie. The other day we went and shot some hoops at the local court; she loves basketball. And though my father loved basketball, and me and my brothers did as well, I've never encouraged nor pushed Sophia towards the court and yet she shows passion for hoops. Yet there she was, her new ball, shorts and sneakers asking me to go to the court. And so we went. The distraction of shared sport encourages funny anecdotal conversations about nothing an everything all at once; we chatted for an hour, laughing, goofing and learning- from each other.

In many ways it's kind of silly to think that 12,000 people could, or even would read PinF in a year. I'm not sure if I stumbled onto this blog if I would give a rat's ass about the life of some guy in Florida. But then again- it isn't why I wrote any of it. It matters little if anyone likes, reads, or comments on anything. Still there remains a feeling of semi-responsibility to continue, as If I got people hooked on my daily "ho-hum" life, and now I owe them something for their loyality. So I write on. Certainly I neither expect nor need a comment back on anything yet so many people, some known and many more anonymous have made very real and often times touching remarks on something I've written that either touched a nerve or evoked an emotion. For all of these comments, encouragements, and words of support PinF remains very grateful and humbled. If nothing else loving travel as much as I do, this forum allows me to send a small part of me off into the tiniest corners of the world to be read by the many faceless friends and regular readers of PinF.

2005-2006 has proved to be a very emotionally and physically draining period due in large part to hurricanes, personal losses and often times events that have either clouded or obscured the lessons and truths that lurk behind the pain. Still, PinF is ever optimistic and always mindful that his next joy or new bliss is waiting just around the next corner. And as sad as the past years' posts have been at times, they have allowed for greater appreciation of the "good" times, good friends, and special moments I've been blessed to know and enjoy. So PinF chugs on towards another Memorial Day week-end, something that has become a signal of the anniversary of this blog. I'll treat myself to a nice ride this weekend down south to Key Biscayne National Park for it's in the tranquility of nature's splendor where you can really unburden from the stresses and effects of life's challenges. I've not checked in at the office for a while so this visit will do me some good.

Surely a humble thanks to the many regular and faithful readers of this blog is in order. Let's see where we are in another year shall we?